When it comes to witty comebacks no one says it better, or more brutally, than our beloved Siri.

She’s been there through the tough times, that’s for sure, but the answers aren’t always what we’re looking for. There are certain things you just shouldn’t ask Siri for advice about.

Off-limit topics include our love lives, diet habits, exercise. Well, to be honest, you risk a brutal answer any time you ask her anything. [tweet_dis]At least we can make her call us ‘Sugar Buns’ though, right?[/tweet_dis] Or Superman. Whatever does it for you.

Seeing as our favourite virtual friend received a bit of an update in iOS 7.1 we thought we’d celebrate by putting all of her best answers in one place. Check out the top ten best funny Siri answers below.

 1. The ‘You Have No Friends’ Burn

You know the feeling – you just need a little sunshine in your life on a Monday morning, or a little one-liner joke to make you smile. We recommend not relying on Siri for this. This is a simple one, but it still hurts.

Siri's funny joke about your iPhone contact list

2. The Valentine’s Day Burn

My mother may well be in town – now just book the damn table, Siri. She’s trapped in an iPhone so what does she know anyway?

Siri joke about your Valentine's Day

3. The Very Concerning Siri Response

We like to think that Siri answers with an air of sarcasm – she’s a funny thing after all. You just have to hope that the iPhone user who asked the question sees it as a funny Siri joke, and not a serious answer to their academic issues.

An extremely worrying Siri response

4. The ‘Not Very Helpful in an Emergency’ Response

We’re thinking this one is extremely funny, unless you’re actually in trouble. Maybe Apple should have thought this one through a little bit more – people in distress probably aren’t going to be thinking about how to ask Siri to get them serious help quickly!

Funny Siri Ambulance Response

5. The Bad Taste Joke

Let’s face it, iTunes can be a pain at the best of times. But at least it holds all of your favourite tracks if you have an iPhone. That’s if Siri will actually let you listen to your tunes. And they are tunes, Siri.

Funny Siri mocking our music taste

6. The Seriously Bad Advice Response

Hopefully Apple have programmed Siri to understand questions a little more deeply since she first launched – as we can imagine this isn’t very helpful if you’re trying to get over addiction problems.

Reasons not to ask Siri about gambling

7. The “You’re a Total Sleeze” Joke

Ouch! This one’s a little hard to believe, but we really hope it popped up on someone’s screen. This is an amazing Siri burn.

Siri cheating joke

8. Just…what?!

Who ever came up with all these answers is some kind of Apple genius. This ridiculous Siri response is just plain bizarre. Anyone want to guess how many people asked what ‘perspicacious’ and ‘peregrinations’ is afterwards?!

Ridiculous Siri response to how the chicken crossed the road

9. This One’s Just Plain Awkward

The internet can be a real pain sometimes – especially for Apple in this case. Luckily not everyone believes everything they read online (although most people do).

Awkward Siri response where she calls Nokia the best smartphone ever

10. That’s More Like it, Apple

Obviously Apple provided a bit of an update just in case people do believe what they read online. This is a much more appropriate Siri answer. Not that Apple needed to worry really – it still sold nine million iPhone 5S and 5C units in the opening weekend, regardless of Siri’s opinion.


There are other phones, but none of the virtual assistants have quite as much character as our ridiculous Siri, that’s for sure.

What’s the funniest thing Siri has ever said to you? Let us know by getting in touch on Facebook or Twitter – and follow our Siri answers Pinterest board here!

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